My Mother and I did not see eye-to-eye on most things and this led to quite a bit of conflict between us, however, we always shared a great love and devotion for each other. When we discovered she had Altzheimers in 1997, she and I joked about what

she may be like in the future...it was the way we dealt with everything- we would cry together, and we would laugh together. The final year of her life was so heartbreaking-to see this beautiful, vibrant woman just break down...slowly...to watch her body shut down, one organ at a time...to watch her take her final breath...it was all something I swore I would have no part of, yet I could not walk away. The words of this song by Elvis Costello speak to me of my Mother.



She

May be the face I can't forget

A trace of pleasure or regret

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay.



She

May be the song that summer sings

May be the chill that autumn brings

May be a hundred different things

Within the measure of a day.



She

May be the beauty or the beast

May be the famine or the feast

May turn each day into a heaven or a hell.

She may be the mirror of my dreams.

A smile reflected in a stream

She may not be what she may seem

Inside her shell



She

Who always seems so happy in a crowd.

Whose eyes can be so private and so proud

No one's allowed to see them when they cry.

She may be the love that cannot hope to last

May come to me from shadows of the past.

That I'll remember till the day I die



She

May be the reason I survive

The why and wherefore I'm alive

The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years

Me I'll take her laughter and her tears

And make them all my souvenirs

For where she goes I've got to be

The meaning of my life is she